Monday, February 27, 2012

Hold All Things Loosely

Hello again Friends,


Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

Last Friday, February 24, it was announced that the summer mission trip to Scotland was cancelled due to unforeseen problems. While the exact details were not shared, Pastor Galbraith and his church in Aberdeen, Scotland will not be able to receive us. 

I remember standing there, in our group and waiting for something more...why didn't it hurt? Why were my eyes so dry? Why wasn't I....sad? I pondered my reaction as I walked back to my dorm room. I mused over all the lessons God had taught me. He taught me to trust, even when my Flesh told me to doubt. He taught me to pray, even when my Flesh told me He wasn't listening. He taught me to have confidence in His provision, even when my Flesh told me it would never come. But now, there was only silence. Not that loud silence, where the cold winds of life howl through an empty mind. No, this was a peaceful silence that spoke of the greatness of an Infinite God. It was a quite confidence that comes only from being in the hollow of my Father's hand. God's grace had led me here, and my heart overflowed with thanksgiving that He would love me enough to teach me these lessons!

When I got back to my dorm, I explained it to my friend. In an attempt to explain it to her, a picture flashed in my mind. All this time, I had committed to serving God on HIS mission trip. He graciously "appointed me to  his service" and placed the privilege in my hand. My fingers never coiled around it or squeezed it in fear of losing it, because the trip was never mine. Rather, in gratefulness and by his grace I kept my fingers relaxed, always remembering who it was that "judged me faithful." Now that it was gone, my hand never had to "release" anything. That, my friends, was NOT my doing, but Christ through me.This word picture reminded me of a quote I once heard in a sermon, "Hold All Things Loosely."

Although the trip has been cancelled, I am SO thankful that God allowed me to learn all these lessons from the last few months. I would never, EVER exchange them for anything in the world!

"Hold All Things Loosely"

~I Timothy 1:12~
"I thank Him who has given me strength, 
Christ Jesus our Lord, 
because He judged me faithful, appointing me to His service."

So...Here we are at the beginning again! (Exciting isn't it?) The director of BMM stated very clearly that they want to find each of us team members places to serve this summer. While the door to Scotland has closed, a whole world of opportunities has expanded before me. Right now, I have suspended all raising support until I have a clear idea of where God wants me to go this summer. Thank you ALL for your generous support and prayers during the last few months! God has used it for His Glory!

Please pray for me fervently over the next few weeks as I seek God's will for my summer. There are a few viable options and I am seeking godly counsel from those more experienced than I in this area of missions.
I will keep you all updated as things develop. Until then, "May the God of Peace be with you all!"

Humbled by His Grace,
Tiffany  











Friday, February 17, 2012

My Sacrifice of Praise

A lot had happened since last December. I'm going to try to recap what God has been doing.

January

Week 2 
Starting school again in January was great. I loved to be back into my old routine, but I knew I was running out of time to get "extra" things done, like prayer letters, prayer cards, and blog posts. I had the "to do list" in the back of my head and the will to get it done, but time always seemed to get away from me. With each passing day, I grew more anxious wondering how I would ever get those letters out.

Week 3
Finally, one day I had a break between classes so I called my sister and asked her if she would help me get addresses to send out prayer letters. She said she would. Together we brainstormed  of people to send letters to but before she hung up, she asked me a question:

"Why don't I just work on them for you."

"What?" I wondered if I had heard right.

"Why don't I print your letter and send out the envelopes, that way you don't have to worry about it."

"Really?"

"Yes!"

After we pinned down a few minor details and I bubbled with MUCH gratitude, we hung up. The rest of the day, I pondered my sister's sacrifice. How wonderful it was for her to help! I am so grateful! It was not until later that the thought hit me:

She's not doing it for me, she's doing it for our Father.

How gracious it was of my heavenly Father to direct my thoughts back to Him. Not only is He the God of the Universe, He is the God of Scotland, this missions trip and all the details. He is my sister's Loving Father. He is my Loving Father. He can and will use His willing vessels to accomplish His perfect will.

Reflecting on this later, I wrote in my Scotland Journal:

                         "Daily God, by His grace, allows me to learn about how to trust Him. I cannot doubt him.
                          I do worry about the money that is due in fifteen days, but He has provided for me this far
                          Who am I, frail woman, to doubt the LIVING God? I look forward to seeing the ways He
                          will provide."

And provide He did!

A few days later, Mr. Lounsbrough sent an email out to the team saying the deadline had been moved from February 15 to February 29. I realized again that God is MUCH bigger than I give Him credit. I expected Him to provide in one way, then He, the infinite God, completely surprised my finite mind. The extra time God provided has been yet another way He proved His faithfulness.

Week 4

One morning while reading I Timothy, I was still really struggling with anxiety and doubt about the trip, but as I read, the Holy Spirit reached up, pulled my nose down into my Bible and said "Look at this!"

                         "I thank him who has given me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord
                          because he judged me faithful, appointing me to his service."
                                                                                            ~ I Timothy 1:12

"Wow!" I thought. As I pondered this verse, the depth of it rolled over me like waves of the sea. I knew there were many applications I could draw from this verse.

                         1. My strength to do ANYTHING before, during, or after this missions trip will be from
                             my Savior and Lord, Jesus. So why should I worry?
                         2. "He judged me faithful" that means there was NOTHING I did to deserve serving Him
                             my Lord in Scotland. In fact, in the beginning I was being unfaithful.
                         3. My Lord also "appointed me to his service" If I have no strength but His, and He chose
                             me to serve Him although He already knew I didn't deserve it, how could I respond in
                             in ANY other way except GRATITUDE?

This verse is pinned to my desk so whenever I want to give in to my flesh and roll in the mud of anxiety or worry, I read this verse and remember that THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME. It's about Him.

February

Week 2

One day after chapel, my roommate and I were sitting in my dorm when I confessed that I was discouraged about how slow funds were coming in and how fast the deadline was again approaching. Laura, my dear sweet encourager, said she would commit to pray that God would provide $300 that week. I thanked her graciously, then turned back to my flesh I continued to worry. As the week rolled on, I forgot about her promise and my sinful response until Sunday night when I got a text from my dad. It read like this:

"Hey Tiff, $460 dollars came in today for your Scotland trip!"

Elated, I showed Laura the text. We loudly "sang praises" to the Lord in our dorm room, but suddenly she stopped.

"God answered my prayer."

"What?" I said.

"My prayer! I prayed this week that He would send you $300, and He sent you even more than that!"

A breath caught in my throat. Covering my face with my hands, I fought back tears as something like "the weight of God's glory" came crushing into my fragile reality. In that moment, I also imagined that this "Muller Moment" could only come from One source. How could I have been so narrow minded? I prayed my thanksgiving to my Father that night. Once again, His loving kindness and faithfulness was made evident in my life.

Week 3

This week, I have had time to reflect over the last two months and ponder God's awesome power. I am humbled by the ways that He has worked in my life!

Support:
Right now, I estimate that God has provided 66% (estimated) of the amount for the first deadline. I look forward to seeing the ways God is going to provide!

Prayer Requests
1. Thank God for what He has done in my life! (Because there is nothing I did to deserve it!)

2. Pray that God would stretch me and grow me into the image of His Son.

3. Pray a few of my teammates by name:
                     Autumn J.
                     Tim N.
                     Nick A.
                     Rachel H.
Ask God to grow their faith and prepare their hearts for His service. (I am going to try to get the full list up later)

4. Pray for the unbelievers in Scotland. We do not know who God will bring, but we want to share the gospel with them!


Thanks for reading this "sacrifice of praise"! I can't wait to tell you more about the LIVING God I serve and they ways He is working in my life!

Complete in Christ,
      Tiffany
 ~I Timothy 1:12~